2. Types of liars and degrees of lying
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“Beware: some liars tell the truth” – Arab Proverb
Have you ever lied? Was it a big lie? Did it make you a bad person? Do you feel guilty when you do it? Truth is, most of us lie some of the time. Sometimes we lie to protect the feelings of someone we care about e.g. not telling your best friend she looks really rough when she is about to go out on a date. Sometimes we tell `white lies' because it's easier to do so rather than telling truth and there's no harm done. James Patterson, author of The DayAmerica Told the Truth interviewed more than 2000 Americans and found that 91% regularly lied at work and home.
It matters why someone lies. We will nearly always forgive the person who lied out of kindness. We will sometimes forgive the person who lied where there are no negative consequences. We will even forgive a President who lied about an affair to the nation on camera. But we will rarely forgive the person who lied for self gain at the expense of others.
Motive also matters to the liar. A person who believes they have a moral justification for their lie, will find it easier to deceive a truth seeker. A person who stands to lose much if their lie is exposed, has a greater incentive to successfully lie, but will experience greater pressure at the same time which may `leak' out in their verbal or nonverbal communication.
We start lying when we are children. It sometimes helps us get what we want. Sometimes it gets us in trouble. Most of us learn that generally speaking, lying is not a good thing and we tell the truth most of the time. But some people develop the belief that lying helps us get more of what we want. So they do it all of the time. Lying becomes something done naturally.
And then when we become adults, some of us graduate from being natural liars to professional liars. Professional liars lie for a specific purpose; usually self gain. Otherwise known as con artists, professional liars often prey on the vulnerable in our society.
When you are trying to detect whether someone is lying, it matters greatly what type of liar you are dealing with. As with all things, practice makes perfect. Generally, the more experienced the liar, the harder their lies are to detect.
Table of Contents
- We all want to be lie detectors
- Types of liars and degrees of lying
- You need to be cautious
- Factors influencing detection accuracy
- Setting the scene
- Your body wants to confess
- Eye think you are lying to me
- Time to face the truth
- Listen like a lawyer
- Download the PDF
